And for the gentleman?

When you order your food at a restaurant, don't look at the menu; look the waiter in the eye. You know what you want.The menu at Applebee's is something to think about.

Stand Up Straight

When you're at the bank or grocery store or theater box office, don't lean on the counter. It's imposing and rude to the person working behind the counter. Plus it makes you look sloppy.Enjoying a nice lean at an acceptable location: Central Park overlooking the carnival.

So...how does everyone know the happy couple?

When you're sitting at a large table with strangers, like at a wedding or a charity event, don't address the group to make conversation. That makes everyone uncomfortable, and those conversations always give way within minutes to an even more awkward silence. Instead, just chat casually with the person next to you. Within seconds, everyone else at the table will naturally talk to their neighbor. Your table will be the envy of the gala.
Enjoying a fine meal and polite conversation with strangers.

What are you drinking?

If someone isn't drinking, don't ask them why. Their answer will generally make for awkward conversation. If someone is only drinking a little, don't goad them to drink more. That makes it seem like you can't control your drinking, and you're trying to make your overconsumption seem reasonable by comparison.

Some people are just the "milk and cookies" type.

Don't Peel Your Beer Labels

Just focus on the people you're drinking with. If you're busy peeling the label off your beer, they will think you're bored with them or nervous about something.

Enjoying a fine Stella Artois. Enjoying the conversation even more.

What do you do?

Never... Ever... Under any circumstance say those words, unless they're followed by the words "with a drunken sailor" and you're asking rhetorically. Otherwise, doing so will mark you as a bore. Everyone hates work, so obviously they don't want to think about it outside of work hours. If someone asks you what you do, reply "many things" and move on.

Instead of throwing such a worn out phrase at a conversation, be endearing by asking something like, "are you an artist?" If you're at a gallery opening or a party with a bunch of artist types, most people will answer "yes." Then all you have to do is ask them a series of questions about their medium, technique, and themes. Easy.

If the person you're talking to is of a more square breed. Ask them if they've seen a certain movie. Anybody can talk about movies.

I do many things.

Giving it up on the subway

When you give up your seat on the subway, don't make a big deal about it. Just make eye contact with the person to whom you're giving up the seat, get up, and walk to the other end of the car. Don't look back for a thank you.

Sarah attacking me with affection on the train after we left White Star on the Lower East Side all hopped up on absinthe.

When traveling, drink the local beer

Drinking Stiegl in Salzburg, Austria with Jemila from Trinidad.

Making Friends

When you meet someone new, never ask for their email address. It's rude, like saying you're never going to contact them. Always ask for their phone number or find them on Facebook or MySpace on the spot with your phone.

Always leave a party on time.

We've all hosted parties and know how miserable it is when our friends just won't leave even though we're yawning and cleaning up. If it feels like you're leaving half an hour early, you're right on time.
Leaving the Stumble Inn with four women. One of them is behind the camera.

wash & dry

Always dry your hands well enough to shake someone's hand immediately after you come out of the bathroom. You never know when you'll run into someone you know, and a wet handshake really puts an awkward pall over a conversation.

Saying goodbye to Karim Dimechkie from a Cambridge, MA park before he left for Paris.